My Skin Saver

I will have you. You will make my chin look more smooth and less like a map of the Galapagos.

And you're only $200 dollars! So basically you'll be mine via Mastercard.

Reba/Kelly's Duet

I didn't watch the Country Music Awards, because quite frankly I feel like there is always a country music award show on TV. Like every week. And it's the same usual suspects that show and win: Brooks and Dunn, Tim and Faith, and a tribute to Johnny Cash by Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood. But yeah, I don't watch them much.

But I do rather like Reba McIntyre, especially when she's play a former white trash kid turned highfalutin callgirl in the video for "Fancy". And I love me some Kelly Clarkson, even though I've heard her newest single and sadly it ain't no "Since You've Been Gone". Meaning, I won't sing it three times in the course of one evening at a karaoke joint, while everyone present rolls their eyes and tells me to give up on the singing career dream. Including the Japanese-speaking staff.

And I digress.

This was pretty nice though. But seriously, doesn't KC sorta look like Rosie O'Donnell when she lost all the weight and did that movie with Dan Akroyd?

I'm just saying.

Blind People with a Sense Of Humor

I used to think that Stevie Wonder was a fraud. A fake. A real bunko. I figured his whole "I can't see you act" was nothing more of a sham. But apparently after seeing this video taken of him last night by those pesky TMZ photogs, I think the joke's no longer on us, but on him. I mean seriously the man can't see. But he tries. And for that, I hand him a gold star to paste upon his lapel. Or a purple one. Or a Hello Kitty sticker I got in Japan. I mean it's not like he'd know the difference!

Am I right people or am I right people?!

Sleep

And when I don't have you, I don't love much. I underestimate you when it's 3am and I'm drunk. I think I can forgo hours of you, in order to stay awake throughout the entire Hills marathon. But you're a tricky bitch who secretly knows that I need about 8 hours of you.

Yeah, I'm tired. Sleep one, Sara Jo nothing.

Allie, Brit Brit's Cousin

I don't remember you from Brit's early days. Are you like a blood cousin, or like mom's best friend's daughter kind of cousin? OR are you really her personal assistant to whom she refers to as "cousin" because the bitch is so whacked out these days she also thinks that Sean Preston is the traveling gnome from the Travelocity ads?

I mean at first glance, this looks like a scene from "Melanie and Mickie" a Lifetime movie about a 20 year-old who has to care for her younger mentally challenged sister after their parents die in a car crash.

Regardless Allie, you're doing your thing. You're keeping her pants on (what little she may wear), the wig and hat in place, and you look fairly normal. As if you shop in the Gap normal. Any chance you can pour the juice from a can of tuna all over her entire wardrobe then set afire, and maybe have to loan her some of your clothes while she fills out the insurance paper work?

No?

Yeah you're probably right, she does like the smell of tuna juice.

Well best of luck. You probably need it. I mean she's like fucking crazy right?

Lobstah Roll

You're no good for me. This is I know. But you're so good inside of me.

Also, I really like lobster rolls.

Stash Tea

I'm not normally a tea-drinker, unless I'm getting sick or trying to look fancy in front of some guy's parents. My poison usually tends to go more along the lines of Dunkin Donuts coffee, or vodka. Sometimes I like to mix the two and then try to drive. Sometimes I'm lying.

But this here brew of tea, preferably the jasmine, was exactly what I needed yesterday (Mother's Day) while going out to brunch with my mom. Right after I puked in a Bed Bath and Beyond plastic bag in her car, as a result of too much mixed liquor the night before at my sister's birthday party.

Still, you can't not call me classy. And can't not tell me not to use double negatives.


But you CAN tell me that you're going to make sure you have this in your home for me when I come to visit/stay for the night on your couch/live in your living room. And no, I'm not just talking to Brandy.

Barf.

Jeffrey Osborne/George Benson

Two of the greatest singers of American soul? Do I even know what that means?

Probably not.

But I like these two gents.

Favorite songs by each: "Baby Stay With Me Tonight" and "Turn Your Love Around", respectively.

Now see what I mean with these two videos I took right off of trusty You Tube.

Yo Koso!

Welcome dear friends to my new blog. In it I hope to express my like and sometimes love for many things. I'll try to update as much as possible.

Just remember, I like you. And YOU you I LOVE.