NYC in the 80's

As a child who grew up less than an hour drive from New York City, I of course have many memories of the back and forth newteen my parents house on LI and Manhattan. And I'm not talking about when I was 11 and my mom would insist I dress like one of the Von Trapps to better help me "stand out" at auditions. Nor am I talking about the first time I ever used a chalked permit in 11th grade, to get into Brother Jimmy's of all places. I mean the impressionable years. The years where I could barely see out the car window and instead was treated to the endless stream of tall buildings, big bright signs, and the homeless people squeegeeing the family Volvo. What happened to you NYC? When did you become so ....polished? What happened to the griddy, stinky, whore filled NYC I grew up wanting to live in? You know, the NYC I saw featured in films like Desperately Seeking Susan, Muppet's Take Manhattan, Big Business, and Arthur?? Can I ever have you back? Or are you gone like that Statue of Liberty foam crown that flew off my head in Battery Park when I was five? Of course do I realize that the cleaning up of NYC means that at 18 when I moved here for good, I could safely ride subways without having the words "Honkey Lips" spray painted across my back. Not to mention the ease of being able to walk down 10th avenue in heels without being mistaken for a call-girl...in broad daylight. But like, can't we have just a teensy bit of the ol' dirt-filled magic? You know before we're all priced out of here and the only ones that can afford it are really Prince Akeem and the rest of the Joffer family? Oh right and that skank Paris Hilton.

I miss you. Sniff sniff.

Kate Walsh and Her Hubs Making Out at Whole Foods

I don't know much about Kate Walsh, but what I do know - I like. She's 40, just got married for the first time to some hot movie exec, got her own show over that anorexic shitwaif Ellen Pompeo, and looks cute in a beret.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm about to get my period (you're welcome), but I am HORN to the EE. So seeing these pictures of her and her beau getting it on in the pasta aisle, made me want to drop what I was doing (absolutely nothing) and run down to the Whole Foods on 7th Avenue, in the hopes that I too might be able to kiss and neck with a hot movie exec.

The verdict? No such luck as the chances of me finding one at this time of day and in that location is slim to none. Now, me finding a hot latino gay boy named Javier, who is in between classes at FIT is probably a stronger bet. Not that Javier and I will make out, but perhaps admire each others legwarmers or something.

Shia LeBeouf

So after taking, what - three(??) months off from posting, I've decided to start again. Turn over a new leaf if you shall. A leaf that has a naked Shia LeBeouf underneath. Yeah I know, if I made comments like this two years ago I'd be in prison while the FBI was scanning my laptop searching for kid p&rn.

I don't know why I feel at my age that it's acceptable to start dating younger men, but well momma likes em that way is all. Never mind the fact that I'm not dating Shia, no where near dating Shia, and that Shia actually looks older than I do.

Sweet fancy holy baby Jesus son of god - please give it to me Shia!

Even if you look like this:



Complete with The Smoking Gun written across your face.

That Stupid "Drop of Jupiter" Song

I once wrote, maybe last summer on my old blog that I liked this song. Then time passed, I never post, and I heard it once again while driving around this weekend.

And you know what fools, I like it again!

But only because he uses the words "the best soy latte that you ever had and me". As if he can compare himself to a soy latte. Oh musicians!

Gwen and Her Videos

If I were a professional singer, I'd like to think that my videos would be a cross between Toto's "Africa" and any of Gwen Stefani's. Meaning, I'd be dressed in designer clothing in a library, located in LA.





Change of Subject: Oh Seth Greene is on "The View". He's still doing stuff? That's nice. He's short. Like shorty short. I mean I'm short. But he's, he's teeny tiny. But cute. So I salute you sire.

Not Blogging

Yeah. I like to do it when I can.

And I just may later.

Clearly you're all waiting for it.

My Skin Saver

I will have you. You will make my chin look more smooth and less like a map of the Galapagos.

And you're only $200 dollars! So basically you'll be mine via Mastercard.